Together Then, And Now
by believe.in.mee
Summary: Dahvie Vanity and Jayy Von Monroe have been together for a long time untill the unthinkable happens. Read and review.


**The lights fade around me,  
the sounds of the world die.  
My spirit is set free,  
All I want to do is cry. **

**I will look into your eyes,  
I will hold you tight,  
I will forgive all of your lies,  
I will be with you through the eternal night.**

**We will finally reunite,  
After we were ripped apart.  
We will finally hold each other tight,  
You have never left my heart.**

**I cannot wait to see your glorious smile,  
I can't say how much I have missed you.  
We will finally walk down the aisle,  
Dahvie Vanity, I love you.**

I threw the now empty bottle of vodka at the wall and watched it shatter. Normally I can handle the pain, but not today. Not on the anniversary of what happened to you. I leaned against the wall and started to cry. How could this happen to you? To us! We were so happy, everything was going great. You didn't deserve what happened. And it was all my fault. I didn't think you would do that. I let all the memories that I pushed to the back of my head come out. The memories of that horrible day.

"_Hey babe," Dahvie said as he kissed my lips. "Why are you so happy?" I asked with a laugh. He got on my lap and straddled my hips. "Well one reason is because I surprisingly do not have a hangover. But the main reason is because I have a gorgeous fiancee," I smiled and kissed him. "You do know it's only like eight in the morning right?" he played with the zipper on my pants and said "I woke up and couldn't go back to bed." I saw that lustful look in his eyes. "Do you want to go out tonight?" he brought his lips to my neck and sucked at the tender skin. I moaned and my pants tightened around my waist. "Let's go back to bed" He said against my neck. He pulled away and smiled. "You read my mind"_

No. I can't force myself to remember, It hurts to much. But I know I have to. Remembering is the only way for me to see him. And I have to see him. I curled up on the floor and sobbed hard. Dahvie was all mine. He was who I could tell all my secrets to, the one I could kiss and hold all day, and the man I loved. I proposed to him the night before he left me, and this world. I didn't know he would get that drunk. I didn't mean anything I said to him. I did love him. And I thought he knew that. More tears streamed down my face as that God awful day came into my mind. I have to remember. It kills me every time I think about it but I have to stay close to Dahvie.

"_Ok so where do you want to go?" I asked as I started the car. "The best bar you can think of," when the car turned on the clock said it was almost midnight. Damn, I thought it was only ten. "Let's not get to drunk. It's already like twelve and someone needs to drive," Dahvie giggled and said "No promises," I rolled my eyes and started to drive. When we got to the club it was packed. "Damn, this is the busiest I have ever seen it" Dahvie said with a laugh. I nodded and took Dahvies hand in mine. _

_After about an hour and a half of non stop drinking and laughing I leaned over to Dahvie and said "I'm gonna go take a piss, we should finish up here soon," he looked at me with dead eyes and nodded. He looked wasted. Like over his limit wasted. I got up and went to the bathroom. _

I screamed and yelled out of pain. It feels like someone is stabbing my heart with a knife. I now I'm not even forcing myself to remember, the memories are flowing out like my tears. And I can't stop it. It hurts but I have to remember, I have to see Dahvie.

_I walked out of the bathroom and started to walk towards Dahvie and froze. He another guy took my chair and was making out with Dahvie. No, that's an understatement. They were swallowing each other. Rage took over me, and walked up to the guy and ripped him off of Dahvie. "What the fuck!" I yelled at Dahvie. His face got bright red and tears ran down his face. "Jayy, I'm-," I cut him off and yelled "No! We are engaged! How could you do this?" he sat up and said with slurred words"Jayy please calm down" I shook my head and said "No! I will not calm the fuck down!" I started to cry and I said "I don't want to talk to you," I started to leave but he grabbed my arm and said "Jayy no don't go! I'm sorry I didn't mean to! We were talking and he just kissed me," I pushe him away and walked out the door. He ran after me and yelled "Jayy no please! Don't do this! What about our fans! What about me?" I turned to him and said "I'll apologize to our fans but screw you. I cannot believe you would do that," he hugged me and said "Jayy please calm down! It was nothing! It was one little kiss, please don't leave me!" I bit my lip and pushed him away, "Call a cab and stay a motel till I can find a place to stay. We're over Dahvie," I walked slowly to the car but Dahvie followed "Jayy we're engaged! Please just calm down and talk to me!" I turned around and said "You don't make out with another guy when you're engaged and expect everything to be ok," I opened the door to the car and closed it. _

I was drunk, and mad. I wasn't thinking clearly. The next day I was going to apologize and beg him to come home. But there wasn't a next day. Not For Dahvie.

_I laid down for about and hour an a half. Just as I was about to close my eyes the land-line started to ring. I groaned and got up. "Hello?"_

It was the local hospital. Dahvies cab was hit by drunk driver. He asked them to call me and they said it would be miracle if he lasted the night.

_I walked into the room Dahvie was in. He smiled at me and I ran over to him. I couldn't hold hold back my tears. "Dahvie I'm sorry. For everything. I want you back I love you," I kissed his lips softly. I pulled away and he smiled and whispered "I love you to," I sobbed harder and smiled "You'll be ok, I promise. We are going to go home, and we' re going to be alright," I kissed his lips again and he whispered "I hope you can forgive me, and love me," I nodded and held his hand tightly in mine. "I will always love you Dahvie, you are the only man I will ever love," I brought his hand to my lips and kissed it softly. "I love you to Jayy. I always will," I kissed his lips and he smiled. His eyes slowly shut __and his heart monitor went to one long beep. I sobbed hard and said "No! Please no, Dahvie! Dahvie you can't die, please no!" the doctors ran in and pushed me out of the room. I couldn't handle seeing Dahvie dead so I left._

It's been two years and I kept my promise. I haven't even thought of touching another guy. It's time these memories die. It's time this sorrow is swept away. It's time I see my Dahvie Vanity. I got up off of the floor and walked to my stereo and turned on 'you are the heart' as loud as it could go. I walked over to Dahvies bedroom for the first time since he died, and grabbed my favorite picture of him. I walked to my bathroom, grabbed a razor blade and walked back to his room.

I brought the picture to my lips and kissed it softly. "Dahvie, you are the heart that beats inside of me. The only reason I am still alive is because you let me into your life and into your heart. And we never got the chance to get married or have kids because of me. And I can't live with this guilt anymore. I'm coming to see you baby," I brought the icy blade to my wrist and dragged it down my arm as hard and slow as I could. I felt relief when blood spilled form my veins. Every second that goes by I feel closer to Dahvie. He always said never to cut but this is the only way to see him.

I started to shake and the music started to fade and the lights blended into each other. I couldn't feel the pain anymore. I laid down on Dahvies bed and brought his picture to my heart. I took one last deep breath and let the lights fade until they were gone.

"I love you,"

**Hi guys, I hoped you liked that,  
I wrote this while watching Titanic so that explains the sadness.  
But I am going through a tuff time right now and writing helps a lot so sorry if this sucked.  
The poem I wrote myself so please don't take it.  
It was in Jayys POV written to Dahvie.  
Anyways I did my best so please be nice:)  
and don't forget to REVIEW. **


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